#im kinda shaking ive never read something thats resonated in this way

[shararan]

How to comment "your writing encapsulates the deeply soul damaging horror of psychosis that permanently alters you as a person, as well as the horrifying intricacies brought by both memory loss, gaps and even not forming memories in the first place, the way the passage of time fucks you up even further, and reading this made me feel like like my chest got cut open by your hands and made me watch my blood get transformed into something beautiful" bur without like, sounding fucking weird about it

[imagine-loki]

Once Upon an Unrequited Love

TITLE: Once Upon an Unrequited Love

CHAPTER NO./ONE SHOT:5/?

AUTHOR: Tragically-Sarcastic

ORIGINAL IMAGINE: Imagine 1 2 3 4 

RATING:

NOTES/WARNINGS: I wrote this in one sitting, I have no earthly idea how.

 FYI: I made up the Circle, I tried to search for a mythical place that you could find in a forest, but none of them felt right. I used an Icelandic translator, so please don’t come for me if the translations are incorrect lol (research said that Icelandic is the closest modern language to old norse) 

The entrance of the circle was inspired by a picture prompt, when I saw it I was smacked by the idea of my Circle myth. I wrote down all the details I thought of and started writing this chapter. I had already written the last half, so I have a pretty decent sized chapter.

Hope everyone is staying safe and healthy!

Happy Reading, my back hurts from sitting at my desk to write this! 

_________

“So where exactly are we going in this endless forest, and how do you know where we are going?” Loki asks, looking around at the trees that all seem identical to him.

“I come here everyday, so its a memorized path.” She says with a smile and a shake of her head. 

“Are you going to tell me what you are showing me? Or shall I walk for another hour in suspense.” He says, trying to look annoyed but failing. 

“What?” She turns to him with a smirk. “ The God of Mischief can’t take some mischief right back?”

“Teasing minx.” He mutters under his breath. 

He turns around to walk backward, looking at her. 

“At least tell me how much long-“ she cuts him off.

“Turn around and look your Royal Impatientness.” She points behind him.

He turns around to look at what she’s pointing at…and sees nothing.

He looks back at her tilting his head and searching her face for any sign that she was joking.

“Has being alone this long driven you mad?” he asks, only half joking.

She rolls his eyes at his confused look.

“Come stand where I am standing you daft man.” she grabs both of his shoulders, pointing him toward the doorway seeming to be made of vines and branches. 

“I don’t see it.”

“What do you mean you don’t see it? Its right there!” she says in frustration. She walks in front of him, just missing the mischievous look in his eyes. She looks back at the doorway and turns to him. 

“Stand behind me.” she demands. 

She feels his body behind her, as his hands settle on her hips. She raises an eyebrow in surprise. 

“Uh…what are you doing Loki?” She asks, trying to hide how flustered his touch has made her. 

She feels his breath brush her neck as he speaks in a whisper.

“I’m standing behind you.” 

“Well…you don’t have to stand so close Loki.”

“I know, now show me what you were looking at.”

“O-Ok, just kinda lower your head to be even with mine and look straight ahead of us.” She says, stuttering alittle. “Do you see it now?” When he doesn’t reply she turns her head to look at him, only to discover his face to be directly even with hers, and he was looking at her. 

“What are you doing Loki?” She whispers as her eyes jump from his brilliantly colored eyes to his mouth and back again. This is the closest they’ve ever been. 

He has an odd look on his face, before she can determine what it is he looks away, back in front of them.

“I see it now,” he pulls away, almost seeming reluctant to part from her. He puts his hand on her waist, slightly pushing her forward. 

“Shall we?”

They head toward the natural doorway, one confused and one silently determined. 

She stops for a moment to turn to him.

“So this is ‘Þögn hring’, Circle of Silence.” She says. “Once we walk though that door it will be completely silent. You won’t be able to hear anything at all, your breathing, speaking, or even our footsteps.” She tells him seriously. “Sometimes its a shock to the brain for sudden complete silence. Most can’t take being in the circle for more than ten minutes.” She smiles a small smile. “Ive been coming here for years so I can stay for much longer.”

Loki looks genuinely interested, a quizzical look on his face as he studies the doorway that looks like nothing more than a creative twist of nature. 

“How did you find out about this place?” He asks looking back down at her for answers.

“Well,” she says hesitantly. “When I first came to this forest I wondered around a lot. Just thinking about life I guess, and what I would do with mine going forward.” She looks away, lost in the memory. “I was having a particularly hard day, missing my parents, my friends, and y-“ she looks at him, embarrassed that she had let that slip.

“I was missing you as well.” She looks back into the distance, thinking back on that day. “I had wondered farther than usual and was, admittedly, lost. When I came upon this doorway I thought it was just a twist of branches so I walked through. I stumbled back out and I very nearly passed out from the shock of it.” She looks back up at him.

“Thats why I wanted to tell you before hand, I wasn’t prepared for it so it was very startling. But since you’ll be prepared you should be fine.”

She takes a step forward, looking back at him with a hand outstretched. 

“You ready?” 

He takes her hand as they step over the threshold. Ironically, the silence is deafening, an odd silence that has no chance of disturbance. He looks at her, astonished and extremely curious about this magical place. He lets go of her hand and walks a few steps away, and sure enough, not a single sound is made from his shoes making contact with the ground. 

Their laughter goes unheard.

————

“So why did you come back after your first experience with the circle?” Loki asks as they are making their way back to the house. 

“Well, I was extremely confused about what had happened. So when I got home I got out some books from our library about magical phenomena in forests.” Her hand waves around as she explains.  

“When I discovered the myth of the circle I knew that it was what I was looking for. Its origin is a very interesting story that resonated with me at the time.” She says as Loki helped her over a fallen tree. 

“A long time ago an ancestor of mine had a great heartbreak, it doesn’t say exactly what happened, whether it was a death of a loved one or a betrayal. But it says that she would search for a silent corner for some peace and quiet but no matter where she went or how quiet it was she was never happy with the near silence. So, she started looking for a solution. She came across a way to make an area silent for a small amount of time, and it worked fine at first, but she eventually got tired of casting it every time she wanted some peace. So she experimented with it until she eventually created the Circle. It was her favorite place to go and sit, and it just happened to be the place that she finally got it right.” She has a small sad sort of smile on her face.

“Im sure you connected with the heartbreak part of the story.” He says, obviously still angry with himself for his part in her sadness. 

She stays silent because he’s right, and she sees no sense in denying his part in it. 

She thinks back to that fateful day, the day her heart was broken by the one person that she thought would always be there for her. He had said that not only was she a ‘Royal hungry harlot’, but he also told her that she was a clingy thorn on his side, that he could never get rid of. His words that day were the reason she had to leave. 

She loved him with her whole being, and the thought of being a nuisance to him ripped her apart.

So she left. 

~Past~

A knock sounds on the door to the Queens private rooms, she already knows who it is. She turns to the door as it slowly opens, the girl entering being so familiar with her that she knows she can walk right in. Sadness is plain on her face, broken hearted would describe the youth. 

“Hello dear,” Frigga walks over to her, taking her hands in her own. “I feel like I haven’t seen you in ages, how are you?” she asks sweetly. 

“Frigga I must ask a very large favor of you.” She states plainly. “I need to…leave town. Immediately…Quietly.” she takes a deep breath, preparing for the second half of her request. 

“I also…need you to not tell Loki where Ive gone, or that you know of me leaving at all.”

Her words are a shock.

“Are you alright? Has something threatened you?” Frigga asks worried. “Leaving town seems rather extreme, and on top of that, why can’t Loki know?” Her eyebrows goes up in concern. “Is …Is he the reason?”

“Something has happened between us, and I must leave. Make no mistake, he has done me no physical harm and the situation is entirely my fault. However, I fear he will eventually try to find me and I-… I don’t want him to.” She shakes her head, tears welling in her eyes. 

“I can’t take seeing him when Ive come to know what I know.” She looks up at the woman that she has always viewed as a mother. 

“Please Frigga, please help me slip away and please don’t tell him where I’ve gone.” A lone tear makes its way down her cheek.

Frigga wipes the tear away, her heart aching for the heartbroken look of the girl in front of her.

“I won’t, I promise.” She takes her face in her hands and kisses her forehead comfortingly before wrapping her up in a hug. 

“Frigga, you must know how I appreciate you and all you’ve done for me over the time I’ve known you. I just-“ She takes a deep breath and lets it out shakily. 

“You have no need to thank me dear, I view you as my own and would do anything you requested.” Frigga assures her with a small, if not sad, smile on her face.  

The girl reluctantly pulls away, wiping the tears away and taking a deep fortifying breath.

“Im going to my families forest, Verndaskógur, It is very secure so there is no need to worry after my safety��once I’m gone.” 

“Please don’t try and change my mind, my heart is already broken leaving all of you. Please don’t be angry with me for leaving, you are the closest thing I have to a mother left, I don’t want to leave on a bad note.” She pleads.

“I must ask, are you sure you can’t workout whatever happened between you? You and Loki have had disagreements over the years and you’ve always made up, how is this time any different? Won’t you discuss it with him first?” She makes one last attempt at getting her to stay.

“Im sure. This time is different. I have to leave, I can’t be around him anymore I-…” she looks up at Frigga. “Im sure you know that I love him, but… I have to leave him, for my own good and his. I need to get out of his life, out of his way…for good.” She says, a determined look on her face.